Expat life in Edinburgh
Edinburgh is not only one of the most fascinating cities in the world, but also a very important part of my life. It is my most significant expat life experiences, since it covered so many aspects/phases of my life: end of studies, entry into working life and first experience of real family life with a child even though it was not my own.
When I first moved there, I felt like living in a different century, like in a fairytale of sorts. Edinburgh has a very special atmosphere, which is only exaggerated by the constantly gloomy weather.
At that time I would often have to assure myself, that I wasn´t dreaming: “I actually live here!” I would say to myself and it would always bring a smile to my face.
Past lifes and dejavus
However, over the time a lot of things turned sour. My relationships to my partner, my job and the city just did not feel right anymore. I felt trapped living in Edinburgh. Yet, I clinged to it maybe to prove something to myself, too, but for the most part for the love to my step daughter.
Having been able to be part of her life was one of the best things that ever happened to me and it still breaks my heart not being able to see her on a regular basis. She is the main reason I will never be done with Edinburgh, ever.
Change of perception
When I visited Edinburgh a few weeks back, I got haunted by a series of dejavùs, and not only good ones. I was shifting back and forth between loving and hating this wonderful city without any fault of its own.
I posted a picture on Instagram, referring to my feelings there like trying to put on one of my favourite piece of clothing which just did not fit anymore, and many of my friends told me they felt the same way about different places around the world. This put me at easy since I realised I was not crazy. This feeling may just be a part of life. There are different places around the world that are right for you for different times or phases of your life.
Even though I left Edinburgh back then feeling broken, it actually made me hole since it made me to the person I am now.
New beginnings
And like a friend told me, you can heal your relationships with places by making new solely positive experiences there. Which is exactly what we did.
I went to Cramond Island with her for the first time ever since I never managed to actually go there during all the time I lived in Scotland. It was an extraordinary experience.
Also, I took my step daughter to the Zoo to see the Giant Pandas, which I had never done before either. So while at the beginning of the trip I felt like I wanted to be gone already again, I actually did not quite want to leave at the end.
Overall, I am just absolutely humbled and thankful for the experience of expat life in Edinburgh and everyone that accompanied me on that journey.
What are your experiences with expat life? Do you have places in your life that make you feel that way? How do you deal with that?
I can´t wait to hear your stories!
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